Sex for 3 with Jacob Z Flores

Before I begin, I wanted to say thanks for allowing me to guest blog here at Mantastic. I also wanted to let your readers know that as part of the blog tour, I’m holding a contest. All you have to do is leave a comment with your email to this post, and your name is entered to win a free electronic copy of 3. If a reader happens to follow all my blog stops, then she or he can leave a comment at the other sites a well. This means that someone could enter 7 times for a chance to win the book. At the end of the tour, a winner will be chosen and announced.

** Blog Tour dates and locations can be found HERE**
Visit each blog stop for more chances to win – 1 2 3 4 5 6 7.

Now that that’s out of the way, I have to tell you how nervous I was about this blog post. I’m used to blogging in obscurity on my website, not for such a popular blog!

I wanted to do something unique, but everything I came up with seemed lame.

What to do? What to do?

Then, the idea hit me like a shot of tequila. I can share what I’ve learned about the rules involved for having a threeseome, or as I’m calling the post “Sex for 3.”

Now, before you start calling me a pervert, which may or may not be true, there’s a reason I chose this topic. My new novel 3 is an m/m/m contemporary romance. As such, there are three main characters trying to work out a very complex relationship dynamic, and what can be more complex than turning the horizontal tango into a line dance?

Let me tell you, it’s pretty complicated!

Now, I’m not saying necessarily that I’m speaking from personal experience. What I’m saying is this: I’ve done extensive research on the subject.

Since I’ve done all this research, I thought I’d share the fruits of the many exhaustive hours I’ve spent on the subject.

So, without further ado, here are my top 3 rules for sex for 3:

#1 Communicate Before You Copulate

Even though you might be ready and willing, you have to use your mouth to establish rules before you can use it for anything else.

If you are one of the partnered couples, you need to understand what the other person in the relationship is comfortable with. Will either of you be allowed to penetrate the third party or will the festivities be confined to hands and mouth only?

If you are the third party, you need to know what you can do to your hosting couple and clearly define what they can do to you.

It’s really all about respect. Without respect and communication, the party will likely turn bloodier than the prom scene in Carrie. Believe me, no one wants that. I’ve seen Carrie like fifteen times, and that girl was pissed!

Now imagine pissing off your partner or one of the partners involved by stepping out of bounds. I’d say that’s worse than having a bucket of pig’s blood dumped on your head.

#2 Give Unto Others As You’d Have Them Give Unto You

Some people enter into three-ways thinking they will be the star of the show. That’s not always the case and can leave you disappointed and perhaps feeling a little neglected.

If you want to be the star of your own sex show, stick with regular man on man, woman on woman, or man on woman action. If you’re okay with sharing the spotlight, then you’ll be fine.

So, when you’re not the star, play a supporting role and help out the other two where you can. Eventually, the spotlight will return to you. Remember, sometimes it’s the supporting actors in a good movie that walk away with the Oscar.

They can make or break a performance.

#3 Make Three a Company

Do whatever you can to keep all three members of the three way involved. While this may seem to fly in the face of rule #2, it really doesn’t. Everyone involved needs to be okay with not being the center of attention, but you’re having a threesome for a reason—to have sex with two other people at the same time! Therefore, you should make the session as much of a group activity as possible.

Find a way to stay plugged in to the other two in some way. Bad pun aside, it’s important for the experience. Whether it’s with tongue, fingers, or some other protruding appendage/device, there’s a way to do it.

Take the initiative to find a way. After all, exploring is part of the experience.

If you follow these three rules, based upon my research, the three of you are in for a very good time!

I’ve had fun writing this tongue-in-cheek post. (I know, another bad pun!) If you’re still with me and interested in my book, I’ve posted the blurb below!

Once again, thanks for having me (so to speak)! It’s been a blast!

by Jacob Z. Flores

Justin Jimenez has loved his partner, Spencer Harrison, for ten years. He’ll do anything for him—including bury his feelings for a man he met while he and Spencer were separated last year. Justin never planned to fall in love, and he certainly never planned to tell Spencer about it—but when a phone call wakes them in the middle of the night to inform Justin that his former lover, Dutch Keller, has been in an accident, he doesn’t have a choice.

Justin’s revelation shatters the fragile relationship he and Spencer were trying to rebuild. The weight of his guilt—both for hurting Spencer and for leaving a heartbroken Dutch to find solace in a bottle—crushes him. But what Justin doesn’t know is that Spencer and Dutch guard an explosive secret of their own. All three men are tangled in a communal web of lies, and unless they find the events in their lives that ultimately led them to friendship, passion, and betrayal, they won’t see the love at the heart of the pain.

Question: Although every person I’ve talked to who has already read 3 has raved about it, there are some who say they will not read it because it is a threesome and they don’t feel threesomes are presented as an equal partnership … that someone is always left out or “lesser.”

I see you mentioned on the Romance Reviews Blog stop that you discovered a previous bias to threesomes yourself.

What would you say to those who may have a similar bias that would encourage those readers to pick up 3? Are there any specific, yet non-spoiler things you included to ensure that all three men “read” as equal? Especially considering all the implied history and memories between Justin and Spencer, and the added pressure of adding someone after a betrayal.

Answer: I have also heard similar comments about menage books. It’s one of the reasons I wrote this book as you already know from one of my previous stops.

What I would say to those with bias is this:

3 isn’t a story about unchecked libidos. It’s a story about three men who find themselves in a difficult situation, one that some people can’t fathom or understand, and that’s part of what this book is about–understanding and opening our eyes to something that is different.

The novel is told from all three men’s points of view and spans about a decade in their lives. I told the story this way so that each man’s perspective and character could be revealed to the reader. I wanted the reader to see their hopes and dreams, their flaws and foibles, and the parts of each of them that make them unique.

They aren’t perfect. They are far from it, but their journey, though lined with pain, brings them something they never could have found without starting on this path.

They redefine what love means for themselves.

Jacob Z. Flores lives a double life. During the day, he is a respected college English professor and mid-level administrator. At night and during his summer vacation, he loosens the tie and tosses aside the trendy sports coat to write man on man fiction, where the hard ass assessor of freshmen level composition turns his attention to the firm posteriors and other rigid appendages of the characters in his fictional world.

Summers in Provincetown, Massachusetts, provide Jacob with inspiration for his fiction. The abundance of barely clothed man flesh and daily debauchery stimulates his personal muse. When he isn’t stroking the keyboard, Jacob spends time with his husband, Bruce, their three children, and two dogs, who represent a bright blue blip in an otherwise predominantly red swath in south Texas.

Jacob’s second novel, The Gifted One, has been accepted by Dreamspinner.

You can follow Jacob’s musings on his blog at or become a part of his social media network by visiting,!/JacobZFlores, or


23 thoughts on “Sex for 3 with Jacob Z Flores

  1. yganoe November 5, 2012 / 5:51 am

    I love your rules to 3…wonderful advice for any relationship.

    • Jacob Z. Flores November 5, 2012 / 2:05 pm

      Thanks, Yganoe. I had tons of fun writing this!

  2. suze294 November 5, 2012 / 8:28 am

    Hah, yes, very good advice – will bear it in mind if the need ever arises!!!
    Have seen really good reviews about 3, so love the chance at the giveaway

  3. Thursday Euclid November 5, 2012 / 10:15 am

    I have my own ideas about what your research entailed… Somehow I think you’d have appreciated my freshman Comp & Rhetoric research paper on pornography more than my professor did.

    Thanks for sharing the mental image of a 3-way gone wrong devolving into Carrie. That won’t haunt me for the rest of my days at all. And yet, it’s strangely intriguing. Someone write that?

    And since I wanna win, I’ll leave my email: thursdayeuclid at gmail dot com.

    • Jacob Z. Flores November 5, 2012 / 2:07 pm

      Research is the tool of any good academic, and I always use the tools at my disposal, Thursday! Maybe I’ll write a paranormal m/m/m Carrie now. You’ve got me thinking. LOL!

  4. Giselle November 5, 2012 / 1:10 pm

    Thanks for the great advice!

    • Jacob Z. Flores November 5, 2012 / 2:07 pm

      I’m always glad to help, Giselle. 🙂

  5. Urb November 5, 2012 / 1:30 pm

    Okay, this advice made me blush. I mean, caused me to blush. My face actually got hot, I mean, became hot! You done good, I mean, you did well! Thanks for a good chuckle and some useful advice, should I ever try a threesome.

    • Jacob Z. Flores November 5, 2012 / 2:08 pm

      Let me know how it works out. If you ever do. 😉

  6. Issa November 5, 2012 / 2:40 pm

    Wow, that was great. Just thinking about all the “research” hours you had to put in to come up with that. Sacrifices must be made LOL.

    cojazzchick AT yahoo DOT com

    • Jacob Z. Flores November 5, 2012 / 9:23 pm

      Issa, I’m a man who does what needs to be done!

  7. scj November 5, 2012 / 4:24 pm

    Great advice! It always pays to have the knowledge there just in case the opportunity ever arises 😉

    • Jacob Z. Flores November 5, 2012 / 9:24 pm

      Always be prepared! That’s my motto!

  8. Terri H November 5, 2012 / 9:26 pm

    I love to read a good menage, especially when it is part of a fabulous romance. Your book sounds great, and I have added it to my TBR list. 🙂

  9. Michelle (MiMi) November 6, 2012 / 12:42 am

    Rules to live by indeed! Thanks for the opportuinty, chellebee66(at)gmail(dot)com

  10. Rush November 6, 2012 / 8:37 pm

    Very interesting views Jacob. Thanks for sharing them with us.
    taina1959 @

    • Jacob Z. Flores November 6, 2012 / 8:40 pm

      Thanks for stopping by, Rush. 🙂

  11. Ann Roberts November 8, 2012 / 11:44 pm

    I can’t believe that people still have to be told to “talk” before having sex (any sex) in order to avoid awkward/angry/humiliating/etc. situations that may arise afterward, but I REALLY like that you put that rule first! I am looking forward to this book!


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